AFS San Diego

Kristy Ishmael, one of our most dedicated volunteers, died peacefully in her sleep on March 6th after an eighteen month battle with cancer. I knew Kristy both as a host mom and as a good friend. She and her husband Ken hosted three students in successive years, Arthur Wong from Malaysia, Marin Stankov from Bulgaria and Germany, and Francisca Barreiros from Portugal. Two of her children went abroad on AFS exchanges, Timothy to New Zealand and Brynne to Austria.

Over the years, Kristy and I had many conversations, both in person and on the phone. She always made time to talk, and our talks usually centered on the challenges of parenthood, both of natural and hosted children, but we often digressed and chatted about things that were of interest or concern to the two of us. One of the joys of being her conversation partner was her total openness and candor. With Kristy, you always knew where you were at.

She approached her battle with cancer in the same open manner that left little room for false hope or wild speculation. She wanted to live, but she was prepared for the worst. Ken and she made sure that she received the best treatment possible; in New York, in San Diego, and finally in Los Angeles. I do not believe she was suffering greatly; I feel she would have told me. During her final months she spent a lot of time resting, but she found the energy to drive to Los Angeles for her treatments two or three times a week. When I asked her at a holiday gathering at my house in December how she felt, she responded, “I feel fine.” That was the end of that topic, and we moved on to things that seemed to interest her more.

Kristy took great pride in her children and their progress. She was a wonderful mom. Moreover, she was available to drive her hosted students wherever they might have wanted to go. She did have one iron-clad rule, however, for anyone in her care: no driving with teenagers and no hanging out with teenagers at their home unless a “responsible adult” was present. Other than that, she was as much a friend to her children and students as she was a parent.

Some of you will remember Kristy wearing her trademark baseball cap at orientations which hid the loss of her hair. She was pleased that much of it had grown back during her final months.

We shall miss Kristy greatly and offer our most sincere condolences to the members of her family. In addition to her husband Ken, she is leaving behind her parents and siblings, as well as four children; Kenneth, Timothy, Brynne, and Jeffrey.

Nick Felfe